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List of Sam Kinison Quotes
We have put together a list of some of the best Quotes that Written by Sam Kinison
Sam Kinison
Total Quotes 49
I Have Lived A Carnal Life.
I Want To Show People That There's A Side Of Myself Other Than Just The Outrageous Comedian.
People
Comedian
Want
I Don't Deny My Life-style Is Occasionally Pretty Wild.
Style
Deny
Life Style
John Goodman Isn't Fat. He's In A Category Beyond Fat. What Does One Call It? Whalelike.
Doe
Categories
Fats
Jim Bakker. He's Lost Everything, He's Ruined. And The Worst Thing Of All He Still Has To Wake Up To Her!
Wake Up
Lost Everything
Worst
I Got Divorced, Which Was Not A Good Thing For A Revivalist Minister. It Did Not Go Down Well. I'd Already Been Banned From A Couple Churches For My Jokes. So One Day I Woke Up And Decided It Was Time To Start Living For Myself.
Couple
Church
One Day
I'm Responsible. I Even Did A Commercial For Mtv Saying How I Was Going To Register To Vote. And I Still Haven't.
Mtv
Vote
Responsible
What Am I Responsible For? Who Am I Responsible To? Everybody? How Come When Archie Bunker Nailed Everybody, It Was Funny - But When I Do It, It's Not?
Responsible
Bunkers
What Happened? Satan Was Busy?
Funny
Divorce
Satan
I'd Rather Entertain People Than Offend Them.
People
So Many Of These Comics Are Just Frustrated Singers Or Actors - They Want To Get A Gig Doing A Sitcom. It's Paint-by-the-numbers Comedy, Lame Joke-telling. They're Drawn To It As A Career Move.
Moving
Careers
Numbers
If I've Learned One Thing, It's 'don't Tell The Truth.' Lies Keep You Together.
Lying
Together
Telling The Truth
I Guess My Main Influences Are Jesus, Rock N Roll And Ex-wives. In That Order.
Jesus
Rocks
Order
Ive Never Been Against Women. That Anti-feminist Rap Is Bogus. I Think Men Should Be Nice To Women, Buy Them Diamonds.
Nice
Rap
Men
Stand-up Comedy Is An Art Form And It Dies Unless You Expand It.
Art
Comedy
Form
I'm Attracted To Heartbreakers.
Heartbreaker
Aids Is A Horrible Disease, And The People Who Catch It Deserve Compassion.
Compassion
People
Disease
Everything Can Be Satirized.
Not That I Want To Put The Entire Rap Music Style Down - I Just Don't Like It. And I Know Somewhere There's Gotta Be Another Guy Like That. There's Gotta Be A Guy Just Like That - Just Like Me. There's Gotta Be Somebody, Somewhere... Maybe, Maybe An Assassin Type.
Rap
Guy
Style
In The 1990s, It's Ok To Do Comedy About The Chernobyl Disaster Or The Space Shuttle Blowing Up. It's Acceptable To Ridicule The Pope Or The President Of The United States, But God Forbid You Do A Joke... About Gays. The Gay Community Is The Last Sacred Cow In This Society.
Gay
Space
Community
When Has Stand-up Comedy Been Kind To Anyone? It Goes After Anyone Who's The Target. Comedy Attacks, Man.
Men
Target
Comedy
You Know What The Problem Is With World Hunger? We've Been Sending Them Food.
World
Problem
Hunger
It Was Great To Be The Rock Comic, The Shock Comic. But After You've Played Giants Stadium With Bon Jovi In Front Of 82,000 People, After You've Done The 'wild Thing' Video With Jessica Hahn And Every Rock Band From Hell, You're Not Gonna Top That.
Rocks
People
Giants
I Started Saying Things In Church That Didn't Meet With A Lot Of Approval - Like 'jesus Isn't Coming Back.' They Started Throwing Bibles.
Jesus
Church
Approval
Born: December 8, 1953
Died: April 10, 1992
Occupation: Comedian
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