You Can Only Offend Me If You

Yeah, It's Unfair That You Can Get Judged By Something You Didn't Do, But It's Also Unfair That You Can Inherit Money That You Didn't Work For.

I Think If I Were To Get As Big As I Could Get, It Does Change Your Mind-state. I Think Like The Little Man. I Think Like The Underdog. I Don't Want To Change That.

Every Comedian Has A Moment In His Life When He Realizes He's A Little Bit Different From Everyone Else. It's Like Being The Only Guy In A Movie Who Sees The Ghost. The Ghost Talks To You And You Talk To Him. Then You Turn To Your Friend And Say, "hey. Do You See That Ghost? And He Says, What Ghost?"

Eddie Murphy Is To Comedians What Nicki Minaj Is To Spanx.

Actually, I Think All Addiction Starts With Soda. Every Junkie Did Soda First. But No One Counts That. Maybe They Should. The Soda Connection Is Clear. Why Isn't A Presidential Commission Looking Into This? Or At Least Some Guys From The National Carbonation Council.