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List of Andy Rooney Quotes
We have put together a list of some of the best Quotes that Written by Andy Rooney
Andy Rooney
Total Quotes 159
The Only Thing That Really Bugs Me About Television's Coverage Is Those Damn Women They Have Down On The Sidelines Who Don't Know What The Hell They're Talking About. I Mean, I'm Not A Sexist Person, But A Woman Has No Business Being Down There Trying To Make Some Comment About A Football Game.
Football
Mean
Games
No One Likes The House Next Door To Look Worse Or A Lot Better Than His Own.
Doors
House
Looks
Numbers Are The Most Certain Things We Have.
Numbers
Mathematics
Certain
I'd Like To Take Some Calculus, Too. I Have Absolutely No Ability In That Direction And Not Much Interest, Either, But There's Something Going On In Mathematics That I Don't Understand, And I'd Like To Find Out What It Is.
Mathematics
Calculus
Ability
My Own Time Is Passing Fast Enough Without Some National Game To Help It Along.
Games
Helping
Enough
I Just Sat There Looking At Television, Sort Of Dumb And Thought How Horrible It Was. I Had -- The Grand Aspects Of It Did Not Occur To Me -- I Had No Notion Of This Terrorist Network That Existed. I Knew The Were A Lot Of People In The World Who Didn't Like Us, But I Had No Idea That It Was As Well Organized As It Apparently Is. That's One Of The Amazing Facets Of This Terrible Event: How Well They Did It. Incredible. The Competence Of These Evil People.
Ideas
Terrible Events
Evil People
Most College Students Are Not As Smart As Most College Presidents.
Smart
College
President
The Last Birthday That's Any Good Is 23.
Inspirational
Age
Lasts
We Aren't Consistent In Our Treatment Of Animals.
Animal
Treatment
Consistent
All Men Are Not Created Equal But Should Be Treated As Though They Were Under The Law.
Men
Law
Literature
The Dullest Olympic Sport Is Curling, Whatever 'curling' Means.
Sports
Mean
I'm Already Suspicious Of Anyone Who Thinks He Or She Is Smart Enough To Be President. You'd Have To Have Some Ego To Believe That About Yourself.
Smart
Believe
Thinking
I Did Not Believe In The War. I Thought It Was Wrong To Go Into Any War. And I Got To The War, And Saw The Germans, And I Changed My Mind. I Decided We Were Right Going Into World War Ii.
War
Believe
Mind
I Try To Look Nice. I Comb My Hair, I Tie My Tie, I Put On A Jacket, But I Draw The Line When It Comes To Trimming My Eyebrows. You Work With What You Got.
Nice
Hair
Eyebrows
Figure Skating Is An Unlikely Olympic Event But Its Good Television. It's Sort Of A Combination Of Gymnastics And Ballet. A Little Sexy Too Which Doesn't Hurt.
Sexy
Hurt
Gymnastics
Soap, Like People, Shouldn't Smell Like Anything.
Smell
People
Soap
Let's Face It, Though, Anything That's Apt To Happen To An Appliance Like A Blender Isn't Covered By The Warranty Anyway, So I Never Send Them In. If It Breaks, I'll Buy A New One. That's The American Way.
Modern Life
Way
Faces
I'm In A Position Of Feeling Secure Enough So That I Can Say What I Think Is Right And If So Many People Think It's Wrong That I Get Fired, Well, I've Got Enough To Eat.
Thinking
People
Feelings
The Super Bowl Isn't For Kids, I Had A Great Time Though And It Was Worth Every Nickel Of It Because By Doing This Lame Piece About The Game I Can Put It On My Expense Account.
Kids
Games
Lame
When I Write, I Use An Underwood #5 Made In 1920. Someone Gave Me An Electric Typewriter, But There's No Use Pretending You Can Use Machinery That Thinks Faster Than You Do. An Electric Typewriter Is Ready To Go Before I Have Anything To Say.
Writing
Thinking
Typewriters
I've Done A Lot Of Complaining Here, But Of All The Things I've Complained About, I Can't Complain About My Life.
Complaining
Done
I Can
One Of The Things We Can Be Sure Of Over The July 4th Weekend Is That News Reports Will Keep Telling Us How Many Of Us Are Going To Die In Automobile Accidents.
4th Of July
Weekend
News
Almost All Of Us Have An Elevator Or Two In Our Lives Somewhere. We Wait For Them, We Ride On Them. We're Annoyed By The Wait But Pleased With The Lift.
Two
Annoyed
Waiting
People Waiting For An Elevator Don't Know What To Do, Standing With Strangers. There Is Nothing To Do. Its An Uneasy Time. Some Press The Button Repeatedly As Though It Would Help.
People
Waiting
Buttons
Born: January 14, 1919
Died: November 4, 2011
Occupation: Writer
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